I don’t know if you’ve seen it yet but a bunch of enterprising aetheists in the US (where else...?) have launched a pet rescue service for Evangelical christians.
The idea is when the end of the world comes along (I really hope it’s not before next Monday because I need to know what happens in the BBC's Ashes to Ashes) and the Evangelicals are whisked away to sit by the side of God, someone has to look after their pets.
It seems that the Bible doesn’t mention being able to take your four legged friend with you on this one-off trip of a lifetime, though in fairness there are lots of things the Bible doesn’t mention, such as dinosaurs, the woolly mammoth, pyramids, and China.
Anyhow, it seems quite a few people have signed up to have their pets looked after.
Personally I see this as a golden opportunity to get a few more things off the Evangelicals, I mean, as they’re going anyway.
I am on the lookout for a late model Bentley Azure so if any of you God-fearing folks have one of those – preferably in Midnight Blue – do let me know. I'm willing to travel for the right mileage.
I would also like an original set of The Beatles LPs, in vinyl, so give me a shout, I mean, there'll only be Gospel where you're headed.
I’m partial to French Impressionists, so any Gauguin, Renoir or Monets going begging – I’m your man.
And finally, as there will be a lot of empty churches, I’d love one with a view.
Thank-you, and have a good trip.