So, I got to see Simon & Garfunkel on Saturday.
Well, actually I barely got to see them...let me explain.
As some of you will recall, I bought a ticket at the ridiculously high price of almost $400, so around 200 pounds, because that was all that was on offer, at least initially. As the weeks prior to the concert wore on the promoters dropped the price down to $75.
Okay, I’ve always wanted to see S&G live and I thought, hmm, 400 smackers will get me a super seat within hand-shaking distance of my musical heros.
You know, you can be so wrong.
The stadium is called Acer Arena, Acer being a computer company whose only link to music that I could find was the ability of their machines to help you download free music for which at some stage in the future you will go directly to jail (did you see the story last week about the woman in the US who was fined $2.4million for downloading 24 songs...).
Anyway, the concert was at Olympic Park which was built on a waste site back in 1999. I had to go to car park 5 which is like saying if you’re on your way to Marble Arch that you need to park in Walthamstow. Then you wait for a shuttle bus. It’s good really, the time spent in the rain let’s you mull over many of life’s mysteries, like where is the fucking bus.
In the Arena itself – it’s an indoors stadium – I discovered that the seats I and several hundred other people had paid handsomely for were on the floor of the arena, as was the stage, at the same level. The seats were not tiered so unless you were in the front row you could not see the stage at all. Unbelievable.
Conversely, those lucky folks who’d dipped into their savings to the tune of $75 were arrayed on tiered seats either side of us. This was good for them because it gave them the chance – pre-show - to laugh at us mugs in the pit.
Honestly, I was disgusted. I have never ever been anywhere where the seats were so poorly placed.
It wasn’t just me either. The level of complaining flowing across and around the seats was more vocal than Brian Clough.
As I always seem able to do, I did get a laugh and small ripple of applause because S&G were late coming on and someone shouted out, “where are they?” And I shouted back, “waiting for the shuttle bus.”
Anyhow, hearing them live was good, even if I couldn’t see them except by cracking my neck back and staring at the small film screen. Really, aside from actually saying I was there, I might just as well have watched the video when it comes out.
After it all finished – a good two hours of solid singing and a handful of interesting anecdotes – I walked outside with the hordes to wait for a shuttle bus but then decided to walk to the car park because it was quicker.
On the way this massive white stretch limo with lights arrayed along the sides and with blacked out windows swished past.
As I tramped along in the rain I thought, ah, now i know where my money went.