I’ve been reading this most excellent novel called Killing Che by Chuck Pfarrer – no, I have no idea how you pronounce his name either, but never mind.
I was really enjoying it, the suspense building to a crescendo, until I got to page 208...The next page is 241. Now, if that wasn’t bad enough, pages 241 to 280 are repeated too, just in case you thought the book was too slim, I suppose. It’s what we in journalism call, a fuck-up. In fact, if I’d achieved such a dogs bollocks in my business I’d have lost more than a sheaf of paper, I’d have lost my job.
The way these things are printed, this would not be the only book affected - it's likely to be the whole run because no-one spotted it and sorted it out.
Sorry Chuck, but the good news is most people will have bought your book before they find out it contains rather more mystery than even you yourself dreamed up..
I got in touch with Random House and was told that they couldn’t do anything about it – like give me another copy – because they had nothing to do with Random House in the US, which is apparently where the book was published (and happily sold by Borders in Australia).
Clearly, buying up all those small book companies, as Random House did, and forming them into a global entity was an incredibly wise and fulfilling move, er, for? I have no idea who for.
I’ve been in touch with Borders (yes, I know, my morning has gone....) and I’m told a copy is coming to Australia – just one mind – but they have no idea when it will arrive and they don’t save books for customers. Yes, yet another successful business operation, though in fairness Borders has gone bust, which is only fair as they tried to undercut your small independent bookshop, slash their margins too much, and then went belly-up. It too must have seemed like a good idea at the time to the owners who presumably had day jobs as circus clowns.
In desperation I called my local bookshop who tut-tutted and called Random House the spawn of the devil, or maybe she was just referring to a hot new book title (yeah, that’s right, I know my libel laws) and refused to order the book from the US, which is probably fair enough as I drove right past the shop when I went to buy the book, but they are very nice otherwise, so I’ve ordered another book through them, just to make sure they have some money in the till this week, love ‘em.
I don’t mind the small bookshop, after all I’ve not smelt mildew like that, or seen such a flock of bats, since I used to be an altar boy, and it is quiet in there, well yes mostly because they have no customers, agreed, but do we really need coffee shops, magazines from 48 foreign countries and in-store appearances by a bloke dressed as Harry Potter who waves a wand as he pops each of your books in a biodegradable bag (which biodegrades in the rain before you get to your car) with, “free book mark, dude” (it’s just a piece of card) to get us to buy books.
It’s a rhetorical question, dude.