I know I've mentioned the Aussie true crime drama Underbelly before, but it was on again last night and I have to tell you it is just the best TV. You must try and see it if you can - I'm sure it can be downloaded from somewhere (Channel Nine are showing it here).  But how on earth they are allowed to show it I just don't know - several of the 'characters' are in the news now, Tony Mokbel is being extradited from Greece and the fittest female lawyer you ever saw is fighting to get her right to practise law back after sleeping with murderers and and, how shall we say, bending the rules a little...Both of these characters feature in Underbelly every week - the Ferrari driving Mokbel famously referred to as, "you're the man controlling 50percent of the amphetamine market in Melbourne". Now, how could, he get a fair trial?
Anyhow, it's such good viewing and you can't help but shake your head at it all. The Victorian Tourist Board or whatever they are called must be shaking their heads too - hardly makes you want to visit Melbourne, let me tell you. On that subject, Bondi Rescue is also on at the moment and well worth a watch if it comes your way. Bondi is just a beach but here it has iconic status and I think it's a World Heritage site now. But jeez, is it dangerous. In the summer,  around 80 people a day have to be rescued. Next beach up is Tamarama, which is even more treacherous. 
So, yes, it can be dangerous in Sydney as well as in Melbourne, but I suppose at least the beach can't come and shoot you in the street, your favourite restaurant or your bed at night...

Meanwhile, here's the link for those of you who are following GONE. 
http://kingcoultas.blog.co.uk/

...it is today - I reckon it'll be around 28C later on with a bit of a breeze - and I'm off to the city with Two while Five wields a paintbrush at pre-school and learns another Jesus song. I'm wondering what will happen because he will expect to see the big J, him having risen from the dead and apparently in amongst us all again, or so the nippers have been told by their teachers.

Meanwhile, here's a true story; it's the link for those of you who are following GONE. 
http://kingcoultas.blog.co.uk/

After his four month holiday in Italy, George came back with plans to start his own business. Not having had any experience other than running a fruit and veg shop he not unnaturally thought he could suddenly become a multi-national businessman earning millions a week. Since he returned - and that would be six months ago now - he'd not come up with anything other than opening a larger fruit and veg shop, plus some vague internet-based ideas ("have you seen how much that bloke at Facebook is worth?" he would say).
Anyway, last night he came to pick me up so we could go out and have a quick drink.
"Do you want to drive?" he said as we walked up the driveway in the darkness.
"No, you're alright," I said, "I've driven a flatbed fruit and veg truck a few times before."
But there gleaming under the single streetlight was a flash motor.
"It's a Merc," he said swaggeringly as he blipped the key ring which set the horn off. "Whoa, got the wrong button," he said as he jabbed it again and I saw the driver's seat moving backwards and slowly out of sight as it folded down flat..
To be precise it's a C-class 240, many of which I have driven before in my past life as a motoring journalist. I don't mind Mercs but I'm not German, we don't have autobahns and it's only a car.
It turns out George has been offered a job by his cousin (no interview process there, apparently) who is a badly dressed 28 year old who happens to have squillions of dollars. Actually, his father has squillions but he hands them over to the son who has a string of business ventures which are going nowhere.
George, it seems is now in charge of the real estate arm of the business.
"We haven't sold a place for 12 months," said George gloomily, "but I'm going to put processes in place and soon we'll be motoring. "
Quite how implementing MYOB will cause a sudden upsurge in interest is beyond me, but then I'm no businessman. 

Meanwhile, here's the link for those of you who are following the story in GONE
http://kingcoultas.blog.co.uk/

I've started getting up early again and going for a walk first thing - it's the only spare time I get and I need the time to myself, and the exercise. Because the clocks haven't changed yet - they change same time as in the UK, but obviously the other way around, if you follow -  it's pitch black out there until almost 7am. I get up at 6am and set off. It's a peaceful time of the morning because most sensible people are still in bed but as I walk around the block I come to the top of a road which gives you a view far out to the east so you can see the amazing blue and orange sunrise and in the distance cars with twinkling lights stream across Spit bridge on their way into the city, the faint roar of their passing like the sea at night. It's bumper to bumper at 6.30 and I always wonder what time these people get up and whether they ever see their families at all.

Meanwhile, here's the link for those of you who are following the story in GONE
http://kingcoultas.blog.co.uk/

I mean, some people have so much money.
I was at the Easter Playgroup party and one of the women was asking me about houses in France. She said, "I want to do something special for my husband's 40th, something he'll remember, something to treasure, and I was thinking a house in France. What do you suggest?"
"Well," I said, "I had a place in central France -".
"Do they speak English there?"
"Mostly they speak French. It's their national language."
"So they say," she said grumpily, "but surely some of them speak English?"
"Do you speak French?
"No, of course not, we live in Australia! Why would I speak French!"
I took a deep breath and said, "there's always the south of France."
"Oh yes," she said, "the beaches, the nightlife."
"What sort of place are you thinking of renting?" I asked.
"Renting! Good lord, no. I'm going to buy a place for my husband. I want something with a vineyard, some animals - not sure what type - and we'll employ a maid and a chef to look after the place."
I snorted. "Does your husband speak French, by any chance?"
"He's a commodities fund manager earning $5mill a year. He's not got time to learn things like French! What use would it be to him?"

Meanwhile, here's the link for those of you who are following the story in GONE
http://kingcoultas.blog.co.uk/

Four turned Five yesterday, which is one of those milestones you'll never see again. Already he is acting more grown up though he did ask me this morning why girls had been invited to his party this weekend as well as boys, so he still has a way to go.
Now, yesterday they had an Easter party at Playgroup so I took both of the boys along. You have to take some food so I made some patties or pasties, whatever you want to call them. They had cubed potato, chopped bacon, spring onions and three cheeses inside - Red Leicester, mature cheddar and parmesan - wrapped in individual pastries. Last year I did minced lamb. The thing is, all the women bring stuff that they bought in the supermarket and then they just rip the plastic covers off and, tra-laa, there it is in all its processed glory. This is okay, I know people don't have a lot of spare time on their hands when they have nippers but come on, there is food and then there is stuff that comes out of a big pipe in a big factory.
The point is, I now seem to have a reputation as some kind of cook, albeit based on two lots of pastry.
One pretty blonde woman, who tells me her husband is never home before midnight and spends at least two weeks out of every four in Asia on business, waved one of the patties around before the assembled host and for some obscure reason shouted out, "I tell you, if you're half as good in bed as you are a cook then you will be fighting us off." One other woman nearly choked on her vol-au-vent, another gasped in astonishment and spat out an olive and a breastfeeding mother's nipple noisily popped out of baby's mouth. I stared at the blonde before managing to blurt out, "I always find the rolling pin gets in the way," which in hindsight probably didn't help raise the level of conversation but at least moved it on.

Meanwhile, things go from good to bad in GONE today - here's the link for those of you who are following the story http://kingcoultas.blog.co.uk/

Well, it should be autumn but we didn't have a summer in Sydney, not unless you count rain as a summer thing, so it seems to have arrived now. Every day last week we had 28 degrees C, and a bit of a breeze, so very nice. In Melbourne and Adelaide it's been upto 40C which to my mind is hell and damnation temperature. Did you know, it's a scientific fact the human brain can't function properly beyond 35C? Hmm.

Anyhow, I've just posted a new chapter of GONE. Here's the link for anyone's who's interested...http://kingcoultas.blog.co.uk/

I'm talking about Four. When I was making his sandwich yesterday morning he was pretending to be on the phone and he said, "Oh, I see. Are you sure? Okay. You are definitely sure about this? I will tell my dad."
He comes off the phone and says, "Dad, I've just been talking on the phone to Mrs Jones and she says pre-school has been cancelled today, so I can stay at home."
When we got there one of the teachers was sitting with a group of kids doing drawings and Lachlan said to Four, "Hey, Four, look over there. There are some chicken eggs."
"I know, Lockie" said Four, "I saw them last year."

No, not my disposition, rather the weather which is very fine today.

For those of you who are following the story, today's helping of GONE is up. Here's the link:  http://kingcoultas.blog.co.uk/

Up most of the night with Two who has a cold and can't hardly breathe, so just a post from Gone up today.

For those of you who are following the story, here's the link:  http://kingcoultas.blog.co.uk/

Here's the link http://www.lulu.com/content/1937073 if you are impatient and want to download the whole Ebook.

Yes, I took the kids to a pirate birthday party on the weekend held in some dance studio way out in western Sydney, which was appropriate because that's where what we call the Westies live.
Venturing there is only something you do with full life assurance and a gun if you can find one. Also you leave the Bentley at home, otherwise it will soon be at someone else's home and then later in the day featuring on the news where you'll see a picture of it wedged in a wall where an ATM used to be.
Now, the adults were expected to dress up as well as the children, which we all did. Yes, of course I made the mistake of saying to one scantily clad young woman, "Ah ha, me hearty, so you must be ye pirate strumpet?" Apparently they all dress that way out west and they must all have good arm muscles too because the slap when it came a second or two later was a good one. Her partner, a herculean man by the name of Crusher looked outside with glittering eyes and said, "youse come by motor, then don't ya?"
When we got to walking the plank I fancied Crusher and his girlfriend were a little too handy with the swords that kept pricking me as I stumbled blindfolded along the floorboard from someone's house, but in the end a fine day was had by all.

Now for those of you who are following the story, the latest chapter of GONE is up. Here's the link:  http://kingcoultas.blog.co.uk/

Here's the link http://www.lulu.com/content/1937073 if you are impatient and want to download the whole Ebook.

...is a friend of mine in Melbourne. I mention this because her blog is really good and well worth a read. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes a touch sad, but always amusing, and it reminds me a lot of Bridget Jones's Diary, except, you know, it's well written, and it's true. Have a look if you have a moment.
Here's the link: http://abloodredbird.wordpress.com/

Four's fifth birthday is coming up and we're having a party. Trouble is, he's told all the kids at his pre-school that they're all invited and with his story-telling prowess has regaled them with tales of knights and dragons and kings and queens and also apparently we are having entertainers. One of the parents said to me yesterday, "I hear Celine Dion will be singing and George Clooney will be making a cameo appearance. Oh, I'll be there for sure!" No you won't, I thought, I don't invite women with an orange suntan and more tinkling diamond jewellery than you'll find at de Beers, but then I remembered it's not my party it's Four's...

Now, For those of you who are following the story, the latest chapter of GONE is up. Here's the link:  http://kingcoultas.blog.co.uk/

Here's the link http://www.lulu.com/content/1937073 if you are impatient and want to download the whole Ebook.

"We want to look at the stars," said Four this morning after shaking me awake at 5.30am. That's a lovely start to the day, let me tell you, though I can report the Southern Cross looks splendid and all the others stars seem to be in the right places.

For those of you who are following the story, the latest chapter of GONE is up. Here's the link:  http://kingcoultas.blog.co.uk/

Here's the link http://www.lulu.com/content/1937073 if you are impatient and want to download the whole Ebook.

Hope you all have a fine day or evening, depending on where you are in the world.

...is the title of a dramatised true story running here on Channel Nine. It is most excellent, one of the best pieces of TV I've ever seen and it tells the saga of around 30 gangland killings in Melbourne between 1999 and 2004. These were not slayings carried out in secret; most of them were on the streets of Melbourne or in its restuarants and clubs. Rumour had it that the police were either pretty clueless or were just standing back waiting for the crims to wipe themselves out, so saving on tricky things like getting evidence together and prosecuting.
As is the way with these things, people in Melbourne can't see the program because of court injunctions brought by people allegedly involved who are still alive. Then again, I was thinking, people in Melbourne have already seen the drama played out on their streets and in the media so they know what happened.
Anyhow, it is great viewing and in my humble opinion so much better than anything similar produced by our American cousins or the relatives in England. If you get a chance to watch it, sit back and marvel how it could all have happened.

Talking of things that happened,the latest chapter of GONE is up. Here's the link for any of you who are following the story http://kingcoultas.blog.co.uk/ and here's the link http://www.lulu.com/content/1937073 if you are impatient and want to download the whole Ebook.

I'm off into the city today to train some politicians in how to deal with the media. From my point of view it's about telling them how to get messages across but from their point of view it's about not telling anyone anything much at all. We shall see what I can do. I have to tell you, I once media advised Margaret Thatcher. And look where that got everyone.

Now, the latest chapter in GONE is up. Here's the link for any of you who are following the story http://kingcoultas.blog.co.uk/ and here's the link http://www.lulu.com/content/1937073 if you are impatient and want to download the whole Ebook.

My good friend Munzly is also contributing a regular column on GONE pointing out the errors of my ways, and it too makes fine reading...some would say finer than the book itself. Either way, there's 15 minutes or so of laughs for all.

We're off to the Powerhouse Museum today (yes, it's like a second home) to clamber over steam engines, go in the glass lift and eventually stagger into the calm and serenity of the member's lounge for a spot of lunch and a carafe of beer - actually, sadly not the last one because i never drink during the day.

Now, the latest chapter in GONE is up. Here's the link for any of you who are following the story http://kingcoultas.blog.co.uk/ and here's the link http://www.lulu.com/content/1937073 if you are impatient and want to download the whole Ebook.

Have a nice day, mes amis.