So I spent the morning at pre-school. Not content with fleecing parents on the fees, they ask you to 'volunteer' for various unpaid duties like gardening, cleaning the latrines, directing traffic on the busy main road, being part of a snake of people that goes to see things like fire engines (or if you're the nannies - the firemen) and morning tea.
You'd think that making morning tea for 20 kids would be easy enough, but is it hell. First off you have to clean all the tables and chairs outside after the wombats, possums and Tasmanian tigers have played around on them during the night in a who-can-defecate-the-most competition. Once you've done that it's pouring milk into plastic cups (except for the special kids who have things like low-fat latte or soy with cranberries (freshly squeezed, please!). Ah yes, you also have to make tea for the teachers. All but one have green tea so that's easy enough - let the water see the tea bag and then fish it out. The odd one out has Ovaltine with three sugars and full fat milk - good one.
By midday you're finished and I mean finished. It is a tiring business. I forgot to mention that while you're there you also become every children's father. The upside is they make stuff for you and gently hand it over as if you're a visiting King. The downside is, you have no idea what it all is.
Two came along too which is good because he is now sleeping and will continue to do so for some time, hence my appearance here today amongst you all.
The other thing I have to do is stop using ebay. The thing has got its claws in me deep. I've never been a gambler but I can see why people spend all their life savings buying stuff on ebay - it's almost enjoyable handing over your electronic money. I'm going to go on one last time and see if they have a course on offer for people for whom ebay has become an addiction. If I find one I'll only bid up to $20, or maybe $30 at a push. Then again, if it looks worth it I'll spin out to $50. If that doesn't get me it, I'll have a think. And see if it makes sense to go further.
20/11/07 @ 09:25