However, on the sixth week she got offered a job which she accepted and then had to get the visa sorted out. I imagined this would not be easy because unless your employer does it, it can be really hard. Her new employer only had six people working for him and usually these small companies - ironically, often the ones who are crying out for skilled people - don't have enough time or resources or expertise to wade through all the paperwork to get set-up as a sponsor, so they don't.

But, there is a somewhat dodgy way around this, which I confess I didn't know about; there are companies out there who specialise in getting sponsor visas. Basically you get a job offer and as long as your qualifications match the job shortages out there then they get you a visa. For their trouble they take 12.5% of your pay for ever and a day (these are four year visas with an automatic renew option), though if you are a foreigner you can claim a living-away-from-home allowance which is, strangely enough, 12.5% of your given salary.

Everyone is happy, well apart from from the Immigration Department who apparently are trying to close this loophole.

Anyway, it turns out her qualifications don't match the Aussie qualifications. "But they're good enough for the UK," she bleated to me. Yes, I said with a groan, but we're not in the UK. Nevertheless it seemed as if a way could be found through the maze.

Then, one evening last week, we'd just finished dinner and there was a knock at the door and it was her and the family. As she marches in she announces, "we're on a plane out of here tomorrow."

Well blow me down, as they say. Of course, they hadn't eaten so I went and got them some food (yes, of course I paid for it) and when I got back she was half way through a bottle of my wine.

And really that was that. She had threatened to end her life a week or so ago - I kid you not - if she couldn't stay in Australia but I pointed out to her that was a bit ironic given people used to want to end their lives because they were being sent here, and I think that made her feel a bit stupid. Of course, that maybe was a little different - there was more room on the sailing ships of the 1800s than there is now on a Boeing 747 and I understand both the food and the onboard entertainment was better too.