I realised I hadn't reported on the last weekend's barby at the sister's place.
When we arrived we found her sawing fat off a rack of ribs. "Our friend Ripper," she said as she cut like a woman possessed, "does the most marvellous barbies back in England. He puts the whole rack on the fire and we all stand around and watch." Yes, in your macs in the rain, I thought.
Meanwhile, out on the balcony the twins were looking at a new gas BBQ about the size of two house bricks. One of them, Thomas, started beating a large chunk of meat as if he were a murderer.
"What are you doing?"
"We're making the burgers flat," said his brother, watching intently.
I looked and saw they were trying to flatten some rissoles.
"They're rissoles," I said.
Thomas looked at me, "the butcher told us burgers in Oz always came in balls and you have to flatten them into burgers."
"He likes the Poms, then," I said.
As well as the rissoles, er sorry, burgers, there was the rack of ribs which wouldn't fit anyway on the small BBQ, some lamb kebabs which appeared to have been made with special cuts of the beast - the fat ones. There were chicken kebabs with what my sister called peanut butter marinade and a salad drenched in Steve McQueen's special salad dressing (apparently they were out of Paul Newman's - the McQueen variety is spicier and ensures your bowels are always in fine working order, night and day).
I'd taken a bottle of wine over which was just as well as they hadn't got any booze in themselves. The sister quaffed half of it before I'd found the corkscrew (seemed she had her own on her key ring...) and said, "yes, not bad for a cheap wine." Just for the record it was an Italian Chianti which cost about $19.
She still hasn't got a job - or had any interviews except with recruitment agents - but she has sold her house in England and the car's about to go under the hammer too so I expect her to drag this visit out some while longer.
Tonight we are having spag bol. The way I make it is, one onion chopped, plus some garlic chopped, three rashers of bacon cubed. Cook them in some olive oil in a large saucepan. Then add about 10 finely chopped mushrooms and cook them for a while too. The thing with the mushrooms is, they add substance to the meal and also make it a whole lot bigger, so you need less meat, and it tastes beefier too. Having said that I then add half a kilo of best rump mince, couple of tablespoons of tomato puree and cook that for a while and then two tins of tomatoes. I pour in some red wine, oyster sauce (which makes it a bit sweet) some soy (gives it a bit more body) and a teaspoon of bouillon powder from our good friends the Swiss and then I let it cook for a couple of hours and have it with spaghetti and freshly grated parmesan. The thing is, the next day, or day after, you can have it with rice too, so it's very versatile, you know.
I have no idea why I've started telling you what I cook each day, but just look upon it as an value added service, as they say in banking circles.