Yes, I’ve decided to have something of a life-changing experience.
It happened because I love my Levi 501s and until recently I still had little problem slipping the 32-inch waisted jeans on. But recently I’ve noticed it’s getting hard to get that top button done up. Where my waist used to be a comfortable 32 – according to the tape measure – to work it out these days increasingly seems to demand the mean average of three measurements taken around the belly area, a set-square and some knowledge of the Pythagoras theorem.
So, I thought I should do something about it. Now, I don’t like the idea of diets, I prefer to opt for lifestyle instead – an all-encompassing approach to losing weight. So, I’ve decided to become a caveman, a stone-age man, a paleolithic man.
It seems that during the stone age people lived just about as long as we do now and according to the fossil records and the information gleaned from the burial sites of our ancestors, there was little or no disease. What killed stone age man was either old age or a particularly feisty mammoth. Well, I haven’t seen a mammoth for some time, so I’m counting on old age seeing me survive well into my 120s.
Okay, the stone age man regimen means that aside from donning a loin cloth (which I love to do, but then that’s another story...) I have to look at what I eat.
So I am now on the stone age man diet. This means lots of lean red meat, chicken and fish, eggs, vegetables and nuts and dried fruit, but no dairy, wheat, oats, or beans, the latter all being items stone age man will not have found either hanging on a tree or loping across the savannah.
Now one day in I am having a bit of a problem with the lack of dairy as I love cheese so I’ve decided to just have goat’s cheese if I must. Also I have about four cups of darjeeling and earl grey a day which I have to have milk in. Those caveats aside, I’m going for it like an axe thrown at a sabre-tooth.
I am a little disappointed though that the research has not shown any evidence of beer during stone age times, and apparently Coopers was not on the radar then at all, so that will be a shame, but never mind, I’m hoping I’ll soon be able to get those jeans on again, and then I can have a pint or two to celebrate.
I’ll let you know how it goes...
17/08/07 @ 10:42