There's an ad on TV here at the moment for a pizza pie. I'm not talking about a pizza that is extra thick, or has extra cheese or pepperoni, I'm talking about a meat pie atop a pizza, or perhaps it's the other way around. Either way, it is a hideous looking thing that should never see the inside of a pizza box, if you ask me.
The pizza people do seem to be getting desperate. Hardly a week goes by without some new gimmick designed to make you fatter. I've seen the big cheese baubles with which they decorate the sides of the deep pan, extra cheese, got-all-the-lot, with extra cheese, pizzas. I've seen the thick crusts, thin crusts, crispy crusts, crusts for people with dentures, the no crust, the just-a-crust and the burger pizza. No, I made the last one up, but it can't be long before the burger pizza arrives. I assume when it does it'll carry a hotline number which will link you direct to your nearest ambulance station. I think that if you order two burger pizzas, extra bucket size cokes, a barrel of mashed potato in a gravy boat and a side of spare rib pizzas with smokey-joe sauce, they will even waive the ambulance fee. Of course, after eating all that there's no guarantee you'll survive the journey, or the triple heart bypass which awaits you.
Mind you, on the plus side you will be really full.
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30/04/07 @ 01:41